i literally do not understand why anybody would cheat on their partner like if you really feel the need to be with somebody else in the same way as you currently are with your partner, be a decent human being and end your relationship to save the person you supposedly love a whole world of unnecessary pain rather than be a piece of shit and break their heart
I am weirdly attracted to older guys.
And by older guys I mean 50+
OLD IS BETTER LET’S JUST ALL ACCEPT IT AND CONTINUE OUR FLAILING
Everything gets finer with age
900+ (just saying)
*Reblogs again shamelessly*
1000+ (and a little shitty just for good measure)
Older than the Earth itself
Cats do not like fruits
today we had a lock down drill and one kid in my class said “these are so stupid if someone really wanted to kill us they would pull the fire alarm so we would all leave the building in a big crowd and then they could just shoot us all” not sure if he is very smart or very dangerous
in first period a girl got dress coded for wearing a tank top with a jacket over it and this scrawny little boy stood up and yelled “OH MY GOD SHE HAS SKIN THE SKIN IS TOO MUCH FOR ME HER SHOULDERS ARE BEAUTIFUL THIS IS TOO MUCH” and the teacher got so annoyed with him that she didn’t get to dress coding her
You go, boy.
the past was fucked up
the present ain’t too much better
"Hey Harold, I made this cool vest, I think it’ll fit you!"
"Oh neat! *puts on vest* how’s it look?"
"That looks fantastic! Go stand by the hedges, I’ll take a picture!"
"Okay! wait, that’s not a camera, that’s a whAT THE FU—"
"Hey Harold. Hey, Harold? You okay, buddy?"
"HEY JOHNNY, YOU OWE ME A FIVER"
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Just caSUALLY STICKING MY 2 YEAR OLD CHILD OUT OF A THIRD STOREY WINDOW BECAUSE IT NEEDS SUNLIGHT TO GROW."
"My child is a plant."
|—||Anton Chekhov (via sophianism)|
Stuff My Roommate Says in His Sleep by DeaconBlue1
Stop murdering me
my 18yo brother called out for help in his sleep anand when i went to him he said “no no not from you” and continued to sleep
My sister said one time “I can’t see the toilet from here you planned this all along.”
So my grandmother moved her to the bathroom and woke her up for school.
My sister use to talk in her sleep, an one time we were camping an her and I shared a tent and in the middle of the night she screamed “I can’t put my stuff there!!! Ralph took half the cupboard!!!” To this day we still do not know a Ralph.
my sister hums in her sleep and one time she was humming and stopped and went ‘ohhh you were TEXTING him’ and kept humming